January 2011
1 post
As I emerge from the snow, allow me to shake off...
Merry new year!
Lots of things have changed since I typed last. Where to begin??! Ah yes, let’s begin with the mundane and hopefully it will wind up being at least mildly interesting overall.
Work is going through yet another transitional phase, and not an exciting one. It’s generally pretty dull. However, it has allowed me a fair amount of freedom, both of responsibility and of the...
November 2010
2 posts
People will read again!!!
At least, this “people” is hoping to over winter break. I have a short list of books I would like to read, and only about three weeks to do so. It’s been ages since I spent any time reading, and frankly, I am concerned. My brain needs the exercise. I’ve noticed so many problems with concentration lately… oooh… kitty….
Wait.
Anyway. In typical news, I...
This happiness nonsense is such a mixed bag.
In the last few months, a new character has been introduced into this ironic comedy that is my life. He is a startling human being, and I mean that as the highest compliment.
He is completely independent, with his own complete life, friends, interests, and schedule. And that is of the utmost importance to me. For a long time now, I have avoided “stuff.” I barely have a grip on my...
October 2010
1 post
Letting you go.
There was a friendship I clung to so tightly. I convinced myself that we would be friends forever.
This person started letting me go well over a year ago. Slowly. Now, the friendship is gone. A whisper. Vanished. No explosive argument, just a soft, slow slip into nonexistence.
And I don’t care at all. I’m completely comfortable with it. And that strikes me as odd. But I have no...
September 2010
6 posts
listening to "Hammock - Losing You to You" →
*sigh* Hammock.
listening to "The Beta Band - Dry The Rain" →
Ah, The Beta Band. Now I want to watch High Fidelity.
listening to " →
*sigh* Love this song. Not sure about the rest of the CD though. I bit angsty for me.
listening to "Portishead - Wandering Star" →
Revisiting yesteryear with Portishead.
listening to "Portishead →
Go on, judge me.
This is not my beautiful wife.
Lately, I have found myself in the middle of everything. A significant amount of change has blown through my personal life, and to be perfectly honest, it has really shaken me. I am constantly reevaluating who I am, what is good about me, and what my shortcomings are.
I often make reference to myself as a super stellar human example, but the fact is, I was always much more truthful when I claimed...
August 2010
12 posts
listening to "Flunk - Honey →
Just getting into Flunk….
listening to "Sleigh Bells - A/B Machines" →
My current fav Sleigh Bells song.
listening to "Bjork - Come To Me" →
Ah, my beautiful Icelandic siren. I will come to you.
listening to "Bjork - Possibly Maybe" →
*sigh* I loved this CD. It seems like a lifetime ago.
listening to "Bjork - Army Of Me" →
This was one of my favorite Bjork tracks for a long time, sadly, because of Tank Girl.
listening to "Bjork - One Day" →
I blame @noisegeek for reminding me that I like Bjork, and @endcycle for telling me to do so is odd. Fuck personal responsibility!!!!! :D
listening to "Red Sparowes - As Each End Looms and... →
On recommendation from @JWukotich, and I love it. Enjoy!!!
My filter is broken? You assume one existed in the...
My personality has always been thinly veiled. I was picked on a lot as a child, as I assume many were, and I was forced to react. I often put off an air of aggressiveness, to cut the bullies off at the pass so to speak. While my attitude has softened over the years, and as the bullies have fallen to the wayside, apparently the intensity of personality has not. I was not all that aware of it until...
listening to "Silversun Pickups - Catch →
“Follow me, Down the streams of sweat on your body” Mmmmmm…. god, I love @SSPU.
Separation of church and state.
Not literally, of course. I refer here to my heart and my head.
I have always had the fortune of being able to understand the difference between the things that I feel and the way things are. That said, I am not attempting to indicate that I always act in such a manner. In the last ten years, I have made a very deliberate effort to act upon the way things are, despite how it makes me feel. The...
June 2010
3 posts
We all die alone, especially if you're an emo...
Somehow, I recently became the fucking stable one in my life. Everyone around me is crumbling, under the stress of their own emotional issues. And I am about to do the same, from watching all the destruction around me. I have time, though, before I do, so perhaps I can manage to hold it together without too much damage.
I had also decided that I am closed for business. Relationships are a...
Cut me and let my guts pour out on the internet.
…or something clever and witty instead. I have no idea.
This past week has been both completely insane busy and a total oasis of calm for me. How these two things manage to occur simutanously eludes me, but it is my perception nonetheless.
I had some revelations revealed to me recently that both shocked me and confirmed some suspicions. It is a bizarre feeling - a mixture of of comfort...
May 2010
4 posts
Musings of a moron.
Recently, I stumbled across okcupid.com - and for some insane reason, I created a profile and answered the questions, as if I was just filling out a long ass meme. Well, that was obviously a smart move. Right. Duh.
The best part is, I want nothing to do with dating - but building my profile became…. kind of like a game. I answered questions, skipped a bunch, just goofed off. And then I...
Add a dash of reason and a heavy dose of WTF.
I feel like it’s been awhile since I’ve put anything here, and to be honest, it’s really been because I wasn’t sure what I should put on display. I always do my best to keep identities a secret, but I am also aware that anyone can read this and perhaps decipher it.
I find myself still wrestling with things that, quite frankly, I just need to let go of. I need to take...
April 2010
13 posts
"...if you can't handle me at my worst, then you...
8thlopez:
-marilyn monroe
Matters of no real concern.
Recently, a relationship ended. And a new one began.
The ending was jarring, and I am still befuddled by its demise. I am going through the typical self doubt, which, in all actuality, has little to do with the relationship and a lot to do with myself. So, I find myself in a period of introspection and thought - I am not upset necessarily, but I am definitely trying to assess exactly what it is...
listening to "Pendulum - Slam" →
Good fucking morning. Here’s some Pendulum. Crank it up!!! :D
listening to "Honeycut - Aluminum City" →
For Emily.
listening to "Ben Folds - Cologne" →
I’ve always been a sucker for a man and a piano……
March 2010
25 posts
Goddamn it all.
FML. For real. I call BS.
listening to "Massive Attack - I Want You" →
THIS. Yum.
listening to "Battles - Atlas" →
@noisegeek has made me fall in love with this song.
Furious.
I am not perfect. I make mistakes. I don’t always do the right thing.
I am, however, completely furious with someone I had taken to be my friend. I do not understand how I have failed in our friendship, but his consistent refusal to speak to me or do anything with me has always been curt and I am tired of being the one to always extend the invitation. I know now that the message is clear,...
Lost in a Familiar Place.
Jesus, I haven’t typed anything here in ages. Part of the problem is, while I am completely public here, I want to protect the privacy of those in my life, so I am reluctant to comment on specific incidents and people, and let’s face it - life is a series of incidents with people. So, I will still attempt to deliver the honesty that I have maintained here, without exposing anyone in my...
