Say nothing, act casual.

At least, this “people” is hoping to over winter break. I have a short list of books I would like to read, and only about three weeks to do so. It’s been ages since I spent any time reading, and frankly, I am concerned. My brain needs the exercise. I’ve noticed so many problems with concentration lately…  oooh… kitty…. 

Wait.

Anyway. In typical news, I am about to go slowly insane from homework. 

I am also thinking quite a lot these days. About the world, and my place in it. How terribly dull, I know, but I rather enjoy my recent anonymity. As a girl that ha hot pink hair for eight years, this is my longest stretch of being so completely pedestrian, and I rather like it. I like not being noticed, not being known, just carving out my little space in this place we all consume. 

The most acute source of my disdain, however, is work. I realize that is a universal torment, and with this particular job I have endured it a long while, but I have been thinking of it in a much larger scope than I had previously. I credit my recent companion for this wider perspective. It has been a breath of fresh air, to be able to articulate to someone else the depth and berth of my discontent and malaise. I loathe the fact that employers generally think of workers as stupid, and while I am not educated, I certainly am not stupid, which unfortunately for my superiors means that I can hear both the lies they are telling me and the truth of what it actually means.  I know how they perceive me. Too much trouble to promote, too unpredictable; yet they are pleased with my work and the bottom line is it is simply more cost effective to keep me then to usher me out.  There was a time when that really bothered me. That time has passed. I simply do not care anymore. I care about making my time at work as pleasant as possible while avoiding any overall problems or policy violations, and then I go home. I go home to a life that is rich with people and experiences (and far too many responsibilities, but alas, I love them).

Now all I really want is time.