Say nothing, act casual.

…or something clever and witty instead. I have no idea.

This past week has been both completely insane busy and a total oasis of calm for me. How these two things manage to occur simutanously eludes me, but it is my perception nonetheless. 

I had some revelations revealed to me recently that both shocked me and confirmed some suspicions. It is a bizarre feeling - a mixture of of comfort and an impotence. I’m not sure I’d call it a win-lose, but I guess that is what it is. It still feels like a lose-lose.

I also confirmed the end of a friendship this week that I had been holding out hope for, which definitely broke my tiny black heart a bit. I can only theorize what caused the demise of the relationship, and unfortunately, the decision was out of my hands for the most part. I simply cannot make someone want to be friends with me if they wish not to. Even if I maintain their reason is stupid (yeah, I know, real mature).

My brain has been churning all of these details over and over again, and of course, there is work nonsense to add into the mix. My mind is beginning to sound like a composter.  I have spent this week trying to put out a myriad of small fires and supporting those around me. It’s admittedly what I seem to do well at, but it can be a bit grating. There are days I want nothing more than to spout the ugly truth recycling in my brain, but in a corporate environment, one is not afforded such luxuries. 

Meh, this too shall pass. Ironically, when I move on from the current situation (next week) I will miss a few people. There are some real gems there, they just haven’t been nurtured properly. It pains me to know that they are being left to twist in the wind, but my power is limited in this space. Such is the story of my tiny life, it seems.